By now it’s no secret: times are tough. Rooms are scarce; roommates are plentiful. You’ve probably heard of the housing crisis. It’s not uncommon for one candidate to apply to dozens of openings each day- and not receive a single response. And here you are with one of these positions to fill, having gotten into your current situation when times were better. Whether it’s your first rodeo or not, consider the advice below in trying to get the most out of your search.
1. You’ll want to look for someone with at least 4-6 years of experience in a similar household with upwardly progressive responsibility. The right candidate will have excellent organizational skills, communication ability, and attention to detail. While these might sound like platitudes, you’re going to want to pretend to look for someone with these qualities. Don’t bother to evaluate anyone’s innate ability to be a good roommate, just cover your back and make sure you don’t get second-guessed. In other words, don’t even think about offering your position to someone who hasn’t lived in an identical situation. After all, the only logical proxy you have for productivity is the prior performance of identical responsibilities.
2. Remember that you have a commodity. Yes, through no merit of your own you hold the unadulterated discretion to make life-altering decisions about who shall be endowed with this commodity - but don’t let the fact that you haven’t really earned it prevent the power from going to your head. Timing, circumstance, and a lot of other things that seem like pure luck have put you in a position to alter the paths of candidates who have far more ability, aptitude, and general desirability than you do. To get the most out of your roommate search you’ll want to completely forget that your authority over these deserving people is entirely the product of happenstance.
3. Your commodity is rare- overcharge and underaccommodate. You have something people need (a place to live) and you get to decide who gets it. Be completely unreasonable. Do tenants in similar housing situations typically pay $500 per month? Offer to let someone fill your vacancy for twice the market rate. Are utilities in your house typically divided evenly among roommates? Stipulate that the new roommate will be responsible for the entire utility bill.
How about access to communal areas and restrooms? Your household probably has a tradition of granting that to everyone. Not so fast. Your new roommate has the bad luck of needing a place to live at a time when places to live are hard to come by. At the very least you’re going to want to institute a probationary period during which the new tenant is allowed access to common area only on weekdays, for example. Perhaps bathroom privileges terminate at 6pm. Feel free to get creative with this one. The more arbitrary and demeaning you can be with the conditions, the more you’ll be able to remind someone that he or she only has himself or herself to blame for needing a place to live at a time like this.
4. Consider temporary, part-time, or temporary to permanent leasing. Maybe you’re looking for a Tuesday and Thursday roommate, but simply don’t have a full-time need at the moment. The implications of holding a scarce but necessary resource are that people are willing to do a lot to acquire your good favor.
Tell that Tuesday-Thursday roommate that you’ll consider full-time tenancy after three months of good behavior. You just made your opening a must-have opportunity. And you don’t even have to actually consider permanent tenancy- at the end of the three months you can just tell your new roommate that you didn’t have a need. If this had anything to do with employment, you might call it an internship. In other words- someone who is overqualified to fill your vacancy is likely to be so desperate to find an opening that you’ll be able to subject them to outrageous demands in light of their credentials.
______
While even the best of us can’t guarantee success in the roommate search, it’s more important that we adhere to the process. With these tips in your back pocket, you can get the most out of the candidate you select. After all, anyone foolish enough to be looking for housing in this market surely deserves what’s coming to them.
1. You’ll want to look for someone with at least 4-6 years of experience in a similar household with upwardly progressive responsibility. The right candidate will have excellent organizational skills, communication ability, and attention to detail. While these might sound like platitudes, you’re going to want to pretend to look for someone with these qualities. Don’t bother to evaluate anyone’s innate ability to be a good roommate, just cover your back and make sure you don’t get second-guessed. In other words, don’t even think about offering your position to someone who hasn’t lived in an identical situation. After all, the only logical proxy you have for productivity is the prior performance of identical responsibilities.
2. Remember that you have a commodity. Yes, through no merit of your own you hold the unadulterated discretion to make life-altering decisions about who shall be endowed with this commodity - but don’t let the fact that you haven’t really earned it prevent the power from going to your head. Timing, circumstance, and a lot of other things that seem like pure luck have put you in a position to alter the paths of candidates who have far more ability, aptitude, and general desirability than you do. To get the most out of your roommate search you’ll want to completely forget that your authority over these deserving people is entirely the product of happenstance.
3. Your commodity is rare- overcharge and underaccommodate. You have something people need (a place to live) and you get to decide who gets it. Be completely unreasonable. Do tenants in similar housing situations typically pay $500 per month? Offer to let someone fill your vacancy for twice the market rate. Are utilities in your house typically divided evenly among roommates? Stipulate that the new roommate will be responsible for the entire utility bill.
How about access to communal areas and restrooms? Your household probably has a tradition of granting that to everyone. Not so fast. Your new roommate has the bad luck of needing a place to live at a time when places to live are hard to come by. At the very least you’re going to want to institute a probationary period during which the new tenant is allowed access to common area only on weekdays, for example. Perhaps bathroom privileges terminate at 6pm. Feel free to get creative with this one. The more arbitrary and demeaning you can be with the conditions, the more you’ll be able to remind someone that he or she only has himself or herself to blame for needing a place to live at a time like this.
4. Consider temporary, part-time, or temporary to permanent leasing. Maybe you’re looking for a Tuesday and Thursday roommate, but simply don’t have a full-time need at the moment. The implications of holding a scarce but necessary resource are that people are willing to do a lot to acquire your good favor.
Tell that Tuesday-Thursday roommate that you’ll consider full-time tenancy after three months of good behavior. You just made your opening a must-have opportunity. And you don’t even have to actually consider permanent tenancy- at the end of the three months you can just tell your new roommate that you didn’t have a need. If this had anything to do with employment, you might call it an internship. In other words- someone who is overqualified to fill your vacancy is likely to be so desperate to find an opening that you’ll be able to subject them to outrageous demands in light of their credentials.
______
While even the best of us can’t guarantee success in the roommate search, it’s more important that we adhere to the process. With these tips in your back pocket, you can get the most out of the candidate you select. After all, anyone foolish enough to be looking for housing in this market surely deserves what’s coming to them.
Andrew Smith
ANDREW you are considering a writing career. Aren't you?????
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